Come into my bathtub said the spider to the guy
It came into my bathtub
The only thing you have to fear is fear itself…and spiders. F*** spiders! Anon
When does your autopilot kick in? In the morning, before my shower, things just happen.
Recently, my autopilot quit … just like that? There I was, rumbling through my routine and kapow!
Ever heard a grown man scream?
My morning visitor arrived unannounced and huge … biggest spider I’ve seen in the UK.
Imagine, you reach round the curtain, turn on the water, put your foot in the bath, and …
… something scurries over your toes, avoiding the deluge.
Don’t know what you’d do, but I actually grunted with surprise, and my foot was gone, gone in a rush of air.
Whadda f*** wiz that
After getting my foot to safety, I studied the beast. How beautiful. Hairy? yes. Scary? didn’t really want to cuddle it … so yes. My first thought? Save it. It may sound daft, but that’s what I did.
I put the bath mat over the bath and gently nudged it with a tooth brush handle. Herded to the mat it shot up to the bath edge — its speed of movement, stunning.
I picked up the mat and gently shook it off. It darted under the sink and vanished back into its twilight world where, I assume, it eats ten times its weight in annoying flies and such.
If anyone can tell me:
- what sort of spider it is, and,
- if they bite
It’s big, you say?
Yes. See this picture? The nozzle is approximately 6.5 – 7.0 cm across.
Okay, it’s no tarantula, but it’s big enough for me.
Now, on the other hand, if I was on a camping trip …
… and this happened, I think I might run a faster 100M than Usain Bolt.
Would I scream? Undoubtedly. Would I feel silly? Not at the time.
So, please remember, a spider’s worth saving.
Who cares if they have millions of eyes, hairy legs and make your skin crawl.
Save yourself a spider
Apart from being fantastic predators, they tend to go about minding their own business.
In fact, they want to escape from our presence quick as they can.
Thus, even though I hid through half of the screening of Arachnophobia.
The moral of this tale is clear: be kind to arachnids …
At least as long as they’re not hiding down a loo you’re using in Australia.
© Mac Logan
6 thoughts on “Come into my bathtub said the spider to the guy”
Loved this funny post and the fact that you’re an advocate for saving spiders even though you don’t like them! 🙂
Thanks for taking the trouble to share . Glad you liked it.
Completely awesome post and the first one I’ve seen on here that emphasized compassion and glass jars over heavy objects and Raid.
I love da spidies. I call them my employees. I leave my sliding door open like a barn door every morning when I wander out into the garden with The First Coffee of the Day because I know the employees will take care of any six-legged immigrants.
Now for some serious shit: That looks an awful lot like a Hobo spider, so watch your ass and get that glass jar handy. http://www.terro.com/hobo-spiders
Thanks for the information and your interest. Here, in East Scotland, big spiders are survivors. I’m happy for the big guy to stay hidden, eat interlopers and will set him free if he becomes more of an irritant.
I expect our climate may be much like the Pacific Northwest. I visit Seattle occasionally. In fact it is part of the backdrop for my second book, DarkArt.
Oh, yes, we have the noticeable flavor of Scottish spice here in Portland. Our Highland Games were a few weeks ago. There are several Utilikilt stores in town and you occasionally see a beefy, hairy leg sticking out from under one at all times of the year. Once, I saw a father and his two young sons (8-12 years old) sporting them together in a grocery store. Full, reddish beards abound–but that could just be the hipsters.
Only one problem: not nearly enough actual first general Scotsmen. We have the affectation but not the music, I don’t HEAR the music of that voice nearly as much as I’d like. I have to get my fix watching Ewan McGregor on You Tube.
I have been around your neck of the woods, but not the forests and the land where you blog so well. Of course, I speak like a Scot. You’ll get an example here https://soundcloud.com/mac_logan_writes/phil-white-interviews-mac-logan-bbc-radio-humberside-2013. There are more around.
When I was in Seattle a few years back I wore the kilt to a friend’s event. I discovered that there’s a beer produced in the Pikes Place Brewery called Kilt-Lifter. Not a bad drop either.