Come into my bathtub said the spider to the guy
It came into my bathtub
The only thing you have to fear is fear itself…and spiders. F*** spiders! Anon
When does your autopilot kick in? In the morning, before my shower, things just happen.
Recently, my autopilot quit … just like that? There I was, rumbling through my routine and kapow!
Ever heard a grown man scream?
My morning visitor arrived unannounced and huge … biggest spider I’ve seen in the UK.
Imagine, you reach round the curtain, turn on the water, put your foot in the bath, and …
… something scurries over your toes, avoiding the deluge.
Don’t know what you’d do, but I actually grunted with surprise, and my foot was gone, gone in a rush of air.
Whadda f*** wiz that
After getting my foot to safety, I studied the beast. How beautiful. Hairy? yes. Scary? didn’t really want to cuddle it … so yes. My first thought? Save it. It may sound daft, but that’s what I did.
I put the bath mat over the bath and gently nudged it with a tooth brush handle. Herded to the mat it shot up to the bath edge — its speed of movement, stunning.
I picked up the mat and gently shook it off. It darted under the sink and vanished back into its twilight world where, I assume, it eats ten times its weight in annoying flies and such.
If anyone can tell me:
- what sort of spider it is, and,
- if they bite
It’s big, you say?
Yes. See this picture? The nozzle is approximately 6.5 – 7.0 cm across.
Okay, it’s no tarantula, but it’s big enough for me.
Now, on the other hand, if I was on a camping trip …
Would I scream? Undoubtedly. Would I feel silly? Not at the time.
So, please remember, a spider’s worth saving.
Who cares if they have millions of eyes, hairy legs and make your skin crawl.
Save yourself a spider
Apart from being fantastic predators, they tend to go about minding their own business.
In fact, they want to escape from our presence quick as they can.
Thus, even though I hid through half of the screening of Arachnophobia.
The moral of this tale is clear: be kind to arachnids …
At least as long as they’re not hiding down a loo you’re using in Australia.
© Mac Logan