Golf insight and a gift for the bubble

This is an exclusive golf insight for these hard times from one of the remotest tracks on the planet. They hope their hard work will assist politicians in achieving meaningful and unambiguous clarity. Tours on wild and remote courses can be arranged by expert golf tour companies who will get intrepid golfers anywhere, even when weather windows may cause delays, possible strandings or permanent disappearance (such bookings not accepted from spouses or members of the same club).

An excellent example with wide application for politicians

The poster, below, deals with ‘leaks’ and suggests an implementable approach for male golfers, as shown by Slàinte Àghmhor GC (SAG). SAG has selflessly demonstrated and created an example process to assist our highest political decision-makers in their hour of need. SAG’s grasp of bringing precise clarity to areas of imprecision could make a golfer cry or even gush.

Decisive clarity, the golfers’ gift

Why? The facts and structures around such a difficult area are much less confusing than Johnson and Hancock’s imprecise, often inconclusive and misleading ramblings. Anyone used to the rules of golf may appreciate the staunch support of the example from SAG which demonstrates pointed and perfect clarity in most cases. If there is any cloudiness at all, please consult a medical professional.

Ladies on the ball

We remain hopeful that the PM and Health Secretary will consult SAG and R&A without delay for strong golf insight. Furthermore, excellent news comes from the SAG’s ladies’ section who are, as you read this, determining a golf insight approach for women. They demonstrate a solid, no-accident, mentality.

Golf scoop Aside

Note: This is an apolitical advisory. Whether right, left or centre, you are welcome to share Slàinte Àghmhor GC’s example. It responds to every golfer’s genuine fear, bordering on panic, of misinterpreting the Covid rules and being fined, or worse. Golfers report that such absence of clarity in Covid guidance is like the feeling that overwhelms you when you have a five-foot putt for the twos money, and can’t see the borrow. The Westminster Bubble must reassert (perhaps discover) its competence and credibility in guiding us all. We understand American readers are ‘pissed’ about some of their own politicians.

Our current experience of Covid planning and rulemaking by ministers. Evidence suggests their insight, clarity and communication skills have, as yet, no discernable beginning. Please help us, Lord, when our Westminster prodigies implement their EU departure. Can we rely on their promises of:

… and the golf insight part?

In a similar vein, the golf world thinks of everything and stays (mostly) ahead of the curve … they clearly want to see improvements, in all respects, on our return from Lockdown. Here’s the poster thanks to St Kilda’s own Slàinte Àghmhor GC:

Perhaps committees could list a few more personalised items for the older members with distance, visual and motor-skill problems … doubly so for the Anstruther Biscuit Boys.

Health Update

According to my doctor, I’m recovering well from my CoVid shock and should be back on the course soon, to:

• commiserate over sclaffs
• prevent (or assist) self-harm (depending on the person)
• continue to provide optimistic scores to the marker
• laugh at poor jokes
• cough or worse on the backswing
• … please add to the list as you see fit. 

Covid recovery and golf

If my play is slow at first, I apologise in advance.

If my shots are impossibly straight and long, my approach play is accurate and controlled, and my putts have astounding accuracy, I apologise in advance. And, of course, I’ll be lying.